well, the good news: my girlfriend is fucking amazing and i don't think she knows how much i appreciate her and everything she does for me. i also now have a new computer that is up and running and kicks some serious ass, so i can get back to creating art on photoshop and getting the new and equally awesome adventures of PowerJeff updated again.
the bad news: the battery died on my car this afternoon, on my way to my 1pm tattoo appointment (which i actually woke up early for and was excited to get a sammich on my way to the shop). no one was home to give me a jumpstart and i had one hell of a time getting to the shop. i mention this, because i lost my shit in the middle of the fiasco, and proceeded to kick the ever-loving-shit out of the driver's side door. now, i have always had anger issues. over most of my adult life i have learned to control my temper, it took some time, and a lot of mental fortitude but i live a pretty normal life without putting my fist through walls or blowing up televisions. but then, days like today happen, when everything that could go wrong....goes wrong, and i end up flipping my shit. over something that is out of my control......and then what i have under control (i.e. my anger, in case you're not following along) goes out of control. "holy fuck", i told myself, as i sprinted downhill towards the bus stop. "holy fuck, i just let myself get unhinged over my car battery dying.....and then proceeded to accent the door panel with multiple boot sized dents!" while it may have felt good, it served no real purpose. to lose control over something (while a major dilema) so trivial, raises in itself a separate question: why do i (and the reader can substitute "we" or "me" or "she" or "it"), why do I let things in life that are out of my control, control my life so much? fucking conundrum!
as i am typing this on my shiny new powerbox, my ferrets are fighting. they do that. it's fun for them. but i saw a flea on chewy earlier (this is part 2 of bad news). those little weasels can die from fleas! not to mention, i fucking hate fleas! i was worried for my boys. i love these little knuckleheads....the fight is getting out of hand...........okay, i won the fight. anyway, here again, is something that is out of my control: parasites (not the pop-punk band). and i am able to stop, assess the situation, and find a solution (thanks to the magic of the interwebs!). the impending demise of my 2 action figure stealing fuzzy-shits and i oh-so-calmly find the remedy....................
which takes us back to bad day issue #1....and the ultimate point of this blog. why is that when something is an inconvenience (traffic, being late, etc) it incites rage, but when something more threatening and severe (blood sucking parasites) happens, rationale and reason takes over? is it that we let the routine of our day to day lives take more precedence over our emotions? and when there is a monkey-wrench thrown into the gears, we've been conditioned as a society to freak the fuck out? the threat of little chewy dying from fleas is horrible, but i didn't break down into a barbaric state like i did when my car wouldn't go vroom vroom. i need to sit on this thought, i think.........
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